book16queen

I was so worried because my app stopped loading anything, claiming to have no connection even when I knew I was connected to a network. So for three or four days now I couldn't post anything or check any of the people I watch...
Then I found time today to go on the computer and realized...
No one posted anything...
I had three new deviations to look at. Well, I'm disappointed, but, I guess that can't be helped. Eventually, I'll fix the app and start uploading again, but seeing as semester two just started up for me yesterday, I might be a little busy. Oh well.

I usually check DA once I've checked everything else on my iPad or when I have nothing else to do... I try to watch as many artists as I can so I can look forward to something, but I swear there are days when you all just decide "Nope, not gonna post anything today."
Then I end up staring at the screen and fake crying because I have nothing else to do with my life and I look forwards to everyone's artwork-
and it's just depressing when there's three or four days in a row without any notifications.  *Sigh* First world problems, huh.

So, This is a personal personal journal entry (sorry, I like to rant; I'm shy, so I like having my thoughts out there some way or another. This is how I like to get things off my chest.)

My boyfriend of 27 months recently told me for the first time that he loves me. This is both our first relationship. I said it back to him and it was the easiest thing I've ever done.
It's quite a unique feeling, to really connect with someone. You know them, you understand them, you hear their voice in their writing, the little things you find adorable are the things that matter most.

I have never been in love before now, and it's scary. I have all my trust in him, and I have no reason whatsoever to break it off; ever. Unless he royally screws up or I royally screw up or one of us dies, I can't see it ending.

Which is why I'm really scared this year. We're both in grade 12, and neither of us really knows what we're doing afterwards. I'm really artsy, he's really smart. So I don't know where we're going to be in college/ uni. It scares me to think of us being separated by an hour, a province, a country. I love him and he's the first person I've ever loved. He's the first guy to ever love me.

So love is scary as f***.
But I also know it's the best thing that could ever happen. I know that I'm wanted; he wants to see me, he'll put down his videogames or stop skyping with friends to talk to me. I know I hate saying I can't see him one day, and I don't go one day without thinking of and then missing him. I feel warm, and safe when he holds me. I don't care what people think when we're together. When we kiss I don't want to stop. When I'm cold or alone or tired or basically not in a good mood, I wish he was there so we could cuddle and I'd be happy.

I am the person I want to be when he's around.
So love is also the best thing in the world.

(and that's my rant I apologize)

(Okay, so this is sort of a review, journal-type thing-y. I'll try not to have spoilers, but I will talk about the show the whole time (sorry not sorry))


I started watching 'Death Note', and am midly addicted now.
I'm only on episode 19, though. I would start some sketches, especially now that everything's gotten a little more interesting between them all, but, it's midnight, and I just watched 4 episodes (oops ) 
Every so often I try to watch an anime, 'cause I don't love everything about them, but they're interesting, and everyone I've seen that can draw anime can basically draw anything.
Death Note is like, the perfect medium between macabre and love, bringing in beauty and horror.
And both 'L' and Light remind me of Artemis Fowl and I loved AF to death. The slightly evil genius is definitely in AF and Light, at least.
Aaaaand I know I'm wasting your time, but just wanted to warn you, you might end up with a ton of Death Note fanart and inspired sketches  

It's not my most favorite (and I have no idea what the notes/letters are saying unless a character says them out loud or I find someone who subbed and dubbed the video) but certainly one to consider, as long as you're not scared off by some macabre, and can at least attempt to follow 'L' and Light's train of thought.
A genius' mind isn't easily comprehended.